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Nik Turner <onslaught86>
"Welcome to the Blog of Inanity."


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The world sucks, but we prefer to call it gravity.

Good generic time of day. I'd be Nik. That's the main thing. Or so I'm told.

Gender  
Male
Last ActiveProfile Views
16 hours3629 times
Share the LuvRelationship Status
97
Single
Hometown
Akaroa/Christchurch
Nik Turner's URL
http://www.bebo.com/onslaught86
Member Since
January 2005

Nik Turner says:
"Today fucking sucked, time to collapse into a pile of angry goo." (16 hours ago) me too!

Badass Music
I mainly enjoy industrial rock and prog. metal, basic genres tend to be too simplistic. That said, I like a huge variety of music, old and new. There's a big difference between music you'll listen to and music you'll choose to listen to, so here's a few I choose to enjoy: Nine Inch Nails, Razed in Black, Velvet Acid Christ, Skinny Puppy, Tool, Devin Townsend and Strapping Young Lad, Black Sabbath, Mike Patton and Faith No More, Roger Waters and Pink Floyd, David Bowie, Gary Numan, Leonard Cohen, The Sisters of Mercy, Marilyn Manson, Assemblage 23, Swans, Filter, KMFDM, Zeromancer, :Wumpscut:, Placebo, Live, Radiohead, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Seven Mary Three, Alice in Chains, Metallica, The Offspring, Garbage, The Smashing Pumpkins, The Prodigy, Joy Division and New Order, Type O Negative .. and many more.
Work Is Pain
But we do it anyway. I work at TelstraClear five days a week. Surprisingly good fun, for the most part. I used to work at Micky Finn's on Hereford street, so chances are if you've seen me around somewhere before, it was there. Or, y'know, Granite, where I spend far too much time.
Stuf Wot Rulz
Reading, writing, painting. Creativity. Taking the time to notice the things no-one else does. Watching what everyone is oblvious to. Walking through parks instead of around them. I enjoy this illusion that we call life. Doesn't that just reek of pretentiousness?
I Heart
Having the conversations that make life worth getting up for.
I Collect
Transformers and related merchandise. Indeed. I co-administrate the local collectors' site, TransformersNewZealand.com, a bitchin' little community if there ever was one. Mmyeah.

 

Photos


08/09/07
(15 photos)

12/01/08
(16 photos)

18/11/07
(8 photos)

19/01/08
(21 photos)

25/03/08
(6 photos)

27/08/07
(12 photos)

Michael's trip - 23/04/08-28/04/08
(6 photos)

Mobile Photos
(2 photos)

My Album Featuring Me
(23 photos)

ROCK2WGTN
(34 photos)

Random
(40 photos)

Town and Scenery
(31 photos)
 

Blogs

Ten Things To Do Without Granite: Part Two
Updates! Glorious updates! I'm currently surly and meh after working the weekend, it was full of irritable people and iffy weather. On the plus side, I have tomorrow off.

Also, today, a customer passed on a compliment for me. Always neat when people do that. I try to do the same when people genuinely exceed my expectations. Best part about this one, however, was how hard case it was - he specifically noted when complimenting me that I sounded like James Bond.

That rules right there.

I've been told that I sound like a machine maaaany times, and that I should be in radio, and a variety of other things, but I've never had Bond before. Quite proud of that now.

Anyhoo, here's the next two parts of Ten Things To Do Without Granite. Enjoy! Or don't, I'm still going to post it.

2. Buy junk food

As I’ve mentioned previously, when I go to BK, I eat five cheeseburgers. Yeah, five. They last me perfectly from the BK on Colombo Street to my door on Bealey. And at a solid eleven dollars, I know what I’m getting myself into! Some believe I can’t do it, but I assure you, it can be done. And is, on a regular basis. More’s the pity, damn that BK.

That same night as above, Emma and Meg disappeared off somewhere without warning, so I headed in the direction of town, with Mullet Fellow. Granite was closed! This was the sick door night, as many have noted. Alas, alack, nothing to do in town, so I made it a five cheeseburger night and headed home. No onion rings this time, I’m going traditional.

Also been ordering way too much pizza of late, but that’s me being a lazy git who can’t be bothered cooking for himself when there’s no-one around to impress. Heh! Y'see, with that, I have a receipt from aaaages ago. One of the kind with vouchers on the back. There's a Dominos voucher, two large pizzas delivered for $19.90. I have been using this voucher for the same year. They have never asked to see it. Try it, it works.

Also, order pizza on tuesday. Yes, tuesday is not only the day for jellyfish falling and cheap movies, it's the day for cheap pizza. Two for one, yo'. Only problem with the pizza schtick is that I don't normally carry cash, so I always have to have twenty bucks lying around if I want it. Better if I don't really, 'cause I order two large pizzas and eat them both myself.

3. Play pub games

Right, so, with Granite out of action, I did make an effort to try town as usual. Went out the Saturday after the above events, and attempted Micky’s. Claustrophobic and full of polo shirts, really, not a great place to be on a Saturday night on my own. I tried! Said hi to the few people I knew there, and quickly made my way out again. Town is most odd without anywhere to go, was a strangely quiet night as is. Went to wander past StockxChange to see if Matt was worth bothering in there, and lo and behold, I ran into Dana, who used to be a bouncer at Micky’s.

Yarned away to him for a good wee while, since I’d not seen him in an age, He's shaved his head and looks pretty hardassed. Now working at a place called What bar, which I've never been to. Had a peek inside, didn't reeeaally grab me. Dana informed me there was a pimps and hos party on at the strip, so I wandered over that way for a looksee. Then I remembered I hate the strip, and went back through town.

Surprise surprise, ran into Claire with a Z, who was out and about and up to mischief as per usual on a saturday night. It was raining by that stage. She had to go off somewhere mysterious, so I headed in the direction of home.
Went past Media Club on the offchance there'd be someone there, and whaddayaknow, Dangles and Aaron were!

Media Club has a foosball (The little football tables, y'know the ones) table and a dart board, which is more than most. Darts and drunk people aren't always the world's best combo, but there's something genuine and old timey and manly about such a sport. Played both with Dangles for some time, and failed mis
1 Comment 23 days ago
Ten Things To Do Without Granite: Part One
It’s that time again! No, not time to run around screaming because the end is nigh, time for another blog. How exciting. I can tell you’re excited. Yes, yes I can. I can smell the fear. Wait, no, that's my nachos.

Anyhoo, as some may or may not have noticed, Granite is currently out of action. The exact whys and wherefores are a blur of speculation and frankly quite irrelevant. Point being, the bar’s closed, and I’m at a loss as to what to do with myself. As, er, anyone who's ever read my blog would know, it's where I spend ALL MY TIME.
Short of looking back through my own blog entries, I’m unsure exactly what it was I ‘did’ before Granite was open. I left Micky’s in July of last year, started blogging shortly after that, and lo and behold, Granite was born before the end of the year. The rest is, tragically, history.

Go me! I had no life, then I bought this one on clearance.

For a brief run-down, I’d heard rumblings of trouble. Thursday before last, I hit Granite up, and there was a sign on the door saying “Closed due to illness.” I took a photo of this and shall upload it shortly. Fair enough, fair enough. Reports on the Friday indicate it was open again, but that they’d taken ‘all’ the alcohol away, and were hosting an all ages gig. At 2am. Er.
Notwithstanding that an all-ages gig in the central city would actually be very cool, sell a lot of energy drinks, and probably promote underage sex (Energy drinks and underage sex, my two favourite things! Well, not really), it’s odd. Upon popping in on the Saturday myself, there were new signs saying “Closed for renovations. Open in two weeks as a top 40s club.” Gyah!

Since I’ve spent the best part of the past year at Granite almost every single weekend, I really am at a loss. What did I do beforehand? What do I do now? Not least is it a worry that my social life is almost entirely comprised of Town.
With this in mind, I hereby present Ten Things To Do Without Granite. All personally tested and decreed fun by me*!

* May not actually be fun by anyone else’s standards.

These will be posted in several chunks, since I’ve apparently been doing quite a bit without Granite.

1. Go to the park

Just like the blurb says, through parks rather than around them. Well, not quite. Thurs before last, Emma the Observant and friends invited me out drinking in the park. It was raining and very dark. Naturally, I was in with a grin, heh. Of course, problem there was that I didn’t know exactly where I was going. I’ve wandered through the park quite a lot, especially when I was living in the rusty leaky caravan in Addington, and also when I was living in a townhouse in Merivale. Heh, quite the contrast.

So, missioning I went. Off to the park! They told me they were in ‘the gazebo’, which is naturally incredibly helpful, since there’s roughly 5000 gazebos in the three parts of Hagley Park. I started from the outside and worked my way in – in retrospect, I should’ve gone the other way, but it did work out in my favour in the end.

Y’see, the park is fascinating at night. It’s full of people sleeping, for one. When one wanders around in an environment like that, it really enhances the ol’ predatory instincts. Enhanced vision, sharper hearing, a keener sense of smell – I suddenly became aware of everything around me, and stalked through the forest in the middle of the city feeling more alive than I had in quite some time. Had a Mexican standoff with a possum. Well, almost. It was pretty dramatic. I so sincerely miss the country, and being able to do that sort of thing on a regular basis. Wander around in a forest at night, that is, not have Mexican standoffs with possums.

Having evaded the ducks, possums, hobos, and assorted other denizens of the night gardens (Some of the hobos were listening to MP3 players, despite sleeping next to barbecues in the park. Awesome! Also, hey, In The Night Garden reference), I pr
0 Comments 26 days ago
An interesting turnout at Granite, getting snowed on, and uses for a cigarette tin.
Surprise, I promised an earlier update, and here it is! Ye gods, don’t have a heart attack. No, seriously, I don’t know enough first aid. Focus on the pure, unadulterated joy that is a new blog entry from me. What excitement! Indeed.

I’m continuing in my quest not to go out without a valid reason, so I am. Granite’s drink specials are remarkably tempting every day I’d normally go out, but I’m sticking to my guns, and not dragging myself to town unless I’m invited. Heh. Hence my asking if anyone was out and about the other day. Ahh, self-imposed standards are the best, I tells ya, as long as one acknowledges they’re self-imposed.

So, point being, I did not go to town on Thursday, but did attend on Friday. Mikey was staying for a while as he’s in the process of moving to Christchurch from Nelson. Although he’s staying in Kaiapoi, his girlfriend’s family’s dramatastic happy joy times and the glory of dial-up make our place a bit of a welcome refuge. And it’s always a worry when the flat I live in is a refuge, considering the drama levels usually circulating around the place.

Friday was quite the interesting one. Had been informed there were several gigs on, one at Level One and one at Granite. Now, with level One, I still haven’t been there, but most who have (And also those who’ve DJ’d there, like Isaac from work) say it’s not really worth the bother. Still, there’s a rather promising gig coming up in the near future, Sinate and suchlike. Last year, I saw Sinate in Ashburton with Charlotte and Nicole, and it was quite the eventful wee trip. Met so many people there I’d go on to hang out with, like Amy and Tim and that one girl Shannon who lives at Maces Road. Har. So, with luck, more friends shall be recruited at this year’s Ashburton gig, I’m apparently being summoned there again this coming Thursday. Shall prove interesting. We’ll see, anyway, may not make it. Unsure if I’ll attend the Christchurch gig if I go to the Ashburton one, so Level One may lose out yet again. Har.

Anyway, on that Friday we were all drinking at home. Flatmates, Mike, myself, and other-Mike who’s with Lisa this month. I still had Steinlager Pure left over from a visit to the Grandmother’s earlier in the week, ye gods, do I love Grandmother Food. I also love Steinlager Pure, so a winning combo all ‘round. ‘Twas kinda wet out, though fairly light and warm. The flatmates were keen on town, but wanted to wait for a taxi. Quite enjoy the walk, myself, and couldn’t be bothered waiting, so did the mish with Mikey and several bottles of beer for company. Woop.

Wandered past Level One to see what the haps were, as the saying goes. Ran into Paulie and Rob and friends, who said the whole thing was a tad average and they were considering going to Granite, so that ruled that out. Mikey and I trundled on, dodging people we knew, until we got to Granite itself. ‘Twas quite packed! Considering the past few Fridays, I was impressed indeed.

There were two bands playing, and sad to say, I don’t remember either of their names. Good ol’ Aaron knew members of the second band, and it had been Liz’s mentioning of his knowing them that had drawn me out. I find Christchurch’s metal bands honestly kinda average for the most part. Few notable exceptions, but damnit, it’s all death or faux-black, and I prefer industrial and prog. Or the odd bit of doom. Human, for instance, are tongue in cheek, and thus meet with my hearty approval, ala SYL and Type O Negative. Man, I love me some SYL.

Was quite impressed with the stage show the second band put on. Although the music was, well, metally metal of the non-stand-out variety, they started off with a lovely ambient tribal theme as they dragged one of the band members out in ropes, dressed in face paint and loincloths. Noice! Swanky swanky, far too few bands engage in such stage antics, especially in small venues like Granite. Can understand the ment
6 Comments 49 days ago
 

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guess who...?
pre-emptive duck strikes again!!!!!!
(unfortunately, as he only speaks 'duck' we will never know exactly what he is trying to tell us...)
Muppet 0 Replys
First in
Aha, first in to wish you a happy belated birthday and draw you a terrible birthday pic of boobs, drugs and booze - the 3 best things!
Jen S 2 Replys
Just what you wanted!!!
Man I'm good.
Casey 2 Replys
 

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Comments

Lola
i dont like it. u dont know me at all. hehe literally
20 hours ago
Krystal H
sorry hun, i didnt get ur message till i got to work today coz i dont have the net at home, might be out thursday for a drink with liz though
2 days ago
Yosef Selim
A Hawaiian shirt isn't 80's... You have to go as an 80's character dammit!!!!

You're a cheater!!!! :D
2 days ago
Yosef Selim
Haha.

Tricks are good :D You?
Yeah... I still need him... Gimmie!!!!
I might already have plans, but if not, consider me there. 80's eh? Hmmmm. What could I go as... Hmmmmmmmm.
2 days ago
Yosef Selim
I bet you use Herbal Essences...



:D
3 days ago
Lola
hello..... ur locks are so lusious
3 days ago
Wrath
You thieved it!!!
1 week ago
Muppet
hah. just read my message and i love how when i was trying to write 'i dont think im actually dyslexic', that was when i made the most typos. what a legend.
i smell. to the bat-bath!
1 week ago
Muppet
...not just flexib, but flexible, too!
that, outta context, is just weird.
yay for clonewars! my sister bought a MILLENIUM FALCON OH MY GOD. its so fun, wow, you have to see it. it even has a startup button that occasionally (intentionally) fails cos the real millenium falcon did that. its incredibubble!
my feet are freezing and i am struggling with dyslexia at the moment. i dodnt htink im actually dyslexic, just suck at typing and writing when im tired.
so i shall run away!
lets do something. i have no money on my phone but flick me a message when you know whats the go and we will have long-awaited and well-overdue catchup! yay!!!!! :D
1 week ago
Muppet
i need an mp3 player, lets make a dealio!
aww yea old people are kinda neat, eh. like even my lady that had that accident and destroyed me that monday was kinda neat, in her own crazy way. you get used to them. i told you about noel, i think? guy who i used to cut the hair of, little bit short of a picnic, lovely, lovely old man. i cried when he died. and me being nice to him made his day, apparently when he went into a rest hime he missed coming to see me and tols everyone about me. argh now im all sad!
however i just kicked american historys ASS with the worst ever history essay. finished two hours early, o yes. now i shall have a shower (i went to class today with my pajamas on under my clothes. am still in them. smell like cat, sleep and stress. i call it nouveu feral).
i am even going to town tonight! *GASP* just for a drink. but its better than nothing! yay!
i work weekends too so if you are free tues wed or thurs i am def free, other than that for next two weeks i am flexib
1 week ago
Natalie
hey im good!!! did u get it from the movies? havent seen you in a wee while
1 week ago
Muppet
essays still suck!
hope you have recovered lost time:)



i just tried to post another comment cos i forgot to add love and bebo is like 'argh, no, fuck you, one comment at a time bitch' so i thought id edit love on and NO, cant do that either!



fucking bebo!



( i am in bad mood cos i freakin HATE essays and its annoyed me and made me into a grump. i also hate bebo not letting me be a love whore! damn you bebo, you giant contraceptive interactive std, you!)



























































i still hate essays.







































pretend i gave you love. im thinking love, does that count....
1 week ago
Muppet
(read other comment first -as you know i talk too much and have thus run outta room, heh)
... there will be fun and laughter!
-that was really worth waiting for wasnt it.
anyways i better get back to studying. o yea! came on here to say WOOOOOOO snow!!! not so 'woooo' when it was actually snowing while i was biking to uni, and i have a very wet bottom, and mud on my face, and soaking pants, heh. a little 'woo' perhaps, but not as woo-ish as it would have been if i had been able to stay home and admire said snow from the comfortable position of under a cat, on the couch, with cup o' tea.
have a shooper day!!! and watch out for wet patches. heh.
1 week ago
Muppet
i used to love doing that to balloons, rubbing them on (someone elses) head and staticking them to the ceiling. heh. eek that reminds me, there was this really creepy clown at the mall yesterday, somehow he was selling medical insurance, what the!? anyways his makeup was crap and he sounded a like he was the basket, rug, food and drinks short of a picnic, and he kept popping his balloons, and i wanted to go yell at him, as he was just outside our shop and i didnt like it. but you know, i figured that life would be pretty crap as a clown so i needn't go make it worse.
mannnnn i have an essay due tomorrow which quite possibly i havent actually started on just yet. maybe. hmm. and a test in 40 mins which is worth 30% of a really weird course, and another test due in at 5pm tonight, which ive had a week to do and *cough-havent started-cough* possibly dont really understand the questions. found out today that we have holidays next week though! wanna catch up? there wont be cake but ...
1 week ago
Muppet
eww beer! haha. beer is good for buddha bellies. i expect you to be comfortably round when i see you next. or else! then i can rub your belly for luck. drink boy, drink!
i made a banana cake mmmmm cake and told my workmate, who got excited and requested i bring some in for her today, hehe, so i will cos im a pushover like that (plus the cake is actually not too shabby so i dont mind showing it off, heh).
want to write an american history essay for me? you know you do...
eek i better get ready for work! new dress day today, yay! and apparently it will snow and sleet today, heh, which is great for those in a summer dress. one good thing about being in the mall is that its always bright and warm in there...artificial environments rule ok! haha.
how is life in the non-granite world? coping ok? or did you need to get therapy to deal with it... hehe.
did you go on the bustrip on the weekend that mikey was on? sounds like he had fun with ex-granite crew, yay!
eek ok late again, seeyou!
1 week ago
Muppet
haha, who knew!! teehee.
it was EXCITING i tells ya! might even wear it to work, yay.
*muttergrumble* YOU get excited about teeshirts so dammit i will be excited about a dress! hehe :)
1 week ago
Krystal H
yeah will be having a dinner on the 23rd so be there or i will hunt you down..... i know where u work lol
2 weeks ago
Meg
hey there fellow amigo. hows it going? sorry its taken me ever so long to reply, im just not too crazy about bebo so never get round to commenting an such. but howv ya been man? and tricks are fantastic. everyones fooled by me and my wit. hahah
2 weeks ago
Muppet
ah ha! the book. no, havent read it. i think often about reading it, but time is on the side of lacking, and i dont have enough money to buy more time. if you would like said book back its ok, its quite happy on my dresser watching me sleep but might be craving someone to actually READ it.... i will endeavour to do so! i want to, but i havent any spare time. its a bit poo.
todays jellyfish must have been the lucky kind, as i played two games of soccer and got a goal in BOTH of them!!! two whole goals, all mine!!! haha. as im usually lurking about on defence, this was quite the accomplishment. i am are proud! *glows in blush of prideishnessness* (its a word. well, now it is).
i smell really funky, love that soccer after-smell *ick*.
it was about a million degrees below zero at soccer too. they should make sub-arctic footy a new olympic sport or something.
enough about soccer!
any more bond compliments?
2 weeks ago
Krystal H
hey hun sorry i didnt reply earlier.....work always catches me on bebo lol im moving to wanganui in 3 weeks...hows everything with you?
2 weeks ago
 
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